A Cliched Teenager's Soliloquies

.... a maudlin fool?
.... a mess?
.... a wretch?
.... human?
.... lonely?

I think I'm all of these and more.
But, I never thought I'd be forgiving.

Emily and I are friends again.
That place that she used to fill is slowly being taken over by others, but I still feel loss. Now that she's back, there's still a dull throb that refuses to go away like a stubborn child that's just been grounded without supper. Though she's back, I feel something is missing. This something, I find now in Ms. L. This something, I lose whenever I think of what could've happened had the "Incident," as I call it, never happened.

I'm....

.... afraid?

Yes, I have a fear of losing someone who has changed my world so quickly that she remains calm and collected while I silently fall apart. She remains as a constant that I can't seem to let go.

.... a maudlin fool?
.... a mess?
.... a wretch?
.... human?
.... lonely?

Yes. Yes I am.